Minnesota Garlic Festival: Chef Stage Really Big Announcement

Reprinted with permission from the ever-delightful Stinky News. If you would like to subscribe to The Stinky News, please send an email to garlicgrowers@sfa-mn.org saying so.

You know those old romantic movies where the two lovers are running toward each other in slow motion, arms outstretched, across a field of flowers?  It’s kind of like that, but it’s a field of garlic.

The festival has wooed and won the magnificent Minnesota Cooks to produce the Chef Demo Stage, with the incomparable Claudine Arndt as Chef Wrangler.  It’s been something of a mutual admiration society between the two organizations for a few years, but as Claudine says, “It was hard to get close in a relationship with the festival because of the smell.  Then we figured out that if we ate a bunch of baked garlic with aioli topping and a pesto side, we didn’t notice it as much.”

Against our better judgement, we called Festival Director, Jerry Ford, for his comment. This rarely goes well.

Ford: “Whoa, like, comments are done by my Press Agent, dude. I’ll get her on the line for you.”

Then he made a clicking noise, starting humming something that was a pretty good imitation of on-hold music, made another clicking noise, and said in a falsetto voice:

Ford’s “Press Agent“: “This is my Press Agent. What do you need a comment on?”

Stinky News: “You’re not a Press Agent. You’re you.”

Ford: “You who?”

Stinky News: “You you, that’s who.”

Ford: “Right. I am me and you are you and we are all together.  Now, what did you need a comment on?”

Stinky News: “Whatever.  Just say something about the new Chef Wrangler.” 

Ford: “Yes, well, right.  I will now read a formal statement from Director Ford, who is he and not me (dropping out of falsetto voice):

‘Dude! Whoa! We got Minnesota Cooks, baby! Like, they do that calendar thingey so that you remember when to eat, and there’s that book they wrote that’s got lots of groovy pictures.  Yeah, no. And the TV show on that public whatever channel: it’s got all those cute animals and chefs, and, dig this: they used to do this chef stage gig at the State Fair, but now we got ’em. Boom!'”

You can attend the 2023 Minnesota Garlic Festival at the McLeod County Fairgrounds on Saturday, August 12. Learn more and purchase advance tickets at www.mngarlicfest.com.

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